Dear Body

OK, so it is no secret now that I  had a rocky relationship with my body for quite some time. I have posted about this a couple of times on this very blog.

I call it a relationship because it has all the qualities of one. It takes two parts. It takes work. Both parties need each other for it to work. It is a give and take. It requires acceptance of the other. We both can be there for each other and help each other to shine. If one of us is not fully in it, the other feels it.

This way of thinking was learned. I spent many years oblivious.

I was given an assignment by a life coach from the Handel Group about two years ago. She asked me to write a letter to my body.

This exercise changed the way I thought about my body, the way I spoke about my body and the way I treated my body.

I have decided to share my letter with the hopes that some of you may write one of your own.

I strongly believe in the power of loving the skin your in. It changes your life. It changed mine.

Here it is.........

Dear body,



We have had a long and rough road. I really did you wrong in so many ways. As a kid, I had no appreciation for you at all. In fact, I hated you with a passion. You were my enemy. I felt betrayed by you. You were supposed to be a part of me; I was told I should be grateful for you. But I thought there must have been a mistake. You could not be mine. I thought you were imprisoning me. I felt so trapped inside of you. So I rebelled against you. I did not care about you; I just wanted to change you to fit my idea of perfection.


I am writing to you now because I want to let go of the guilt for how I have treated you. I need to confess all that I did to you once and for all.


So here it goes……..


I fed you foods that were not good for you and I starved you when I felt like you were not cooperating with me.


I overate even when I was totally full and would keep going until you were in pain.


I put you down constantly. I hid you. I wished you were not mine and I never listened to you.


All of these behaviors continued through the years of childhood and into adulthood.


We lost all touch. I know you tried to pull me back in and give me clues that you were still on my side. I couldn’t listen; I did not want to listen. We became totally separate. I cut you off. It was like you were not even a part of me anymore. I just did not care where you were headed. If I could have physically removed myself from you, I would have. You were dead to me.


As I got older I developed new destructive behaviors. I binged and purged while you begged me to stop. I took laxatives and ignored the intense pain. I spent years not working out and wasting you or me over exercised and completely exhausted you. I did not allow you to enjoy yourself in any way. You were cut off and isolated from me. I smoked cigarettes, drank excessive amounts of diet soda and repeatedly put coffee and other drinks that made you sick into my body just to punish you.


Then, without my consent, I was forced to look at you. I was being taught to listen to you. It was so new to me and so not easy to handle. However, I tried to learn the best I could because I knew you were my last hope. I was never going to get away from you, not matter how much I disliked you, so I better learn to deal with you. It was a very slow process but I began to see MY side of the relationship. I was able to look at what I had done to you clearly. I felt shame, regret, and remorse.


How could I, my one and only body. I betrayed you.


I don’t know what to say except I am sorry. I am so sorry. You did not deserve to be cast aside and hurt so badly. I was young and I was sick. I could not see straight. I was lost and afraid and unable to give you the care you needed and deserved. I still can not believe that you stuck with me through it all. You even helped me in every way you knew how. You are selfless. You have kept me going, and I am amazed.


Thank you. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for the strength and beauty that you give to me so freely. I am so grateful that we are now, finally, working together.


I promise to continue now, to nourish you, strengthen you, and return your love daily.


I am grateful for our partnership today.


I now am able to appreciate your many gifts and the love you give me. I will always be grateful to you for taking care of my babies and me through the bizarre and wonderful growth during pregnancy. You performed the impossible and I am in awe.


I have truly grown to love you. (I am as amazed about that as you might be.) I dreamed about this but didn’t really know if it was a possibility.


I see your beauty today and can’t believe it took me so long to recognize what was there the whole time. I sometimes may fall back into old behaviors and habits. I apologize. I am a work in progress and I promise to do better now that I know better.


I look forward to our future together. I have visions of keeping you more and more fit, of having you in the best shape you have ever been in before, getting better with age. I promise to do my part in keeping our partnership honest and loving.


We deserve happiness together. I know now that this is my responsibility.


With love and gratitude, Rebecca